We all have difficult co-workers. You know, those people who make work a miserable experience for everyone. Without them you actually look forward to work and think it’s awesome. If you don’t know who it is, it might be you...seriously.
Here are 4 personality types and what makes working with them difficult:
What to do when your coworker is Difficult Dan:
Dan is a diva. He is contentious and thrives on drama and conflict. He tries to incite it at any opportunity he gets. He sees this defiance as being ‘constructive’ and his way of educating people about how wrong things around the office are.
During a meeting, he proceeds to tear the presentation apart point by point with no concrete solutions to offer. The usual 15 minute meeting has now been running for an hour and it doesn’t seem to be ending soon. When dealing with Dan, you have to be assertive and a little bit sneaky. Divas have inflated egos and feel that he’s doing everyone a favor. Throw in some flattery and see if this softens them up. Remember that you cannot win Dan over but try to see it from his perspective and maybe work with the similarities you discover.
For example, if you see his point about a longer timeline, then tell him so. But work it into a flattering statement so that he sees that you have contemplated his point but that you can drop the discussion on that. Say something like “I see your point about extending the timeline, Dan. We could all benefit from more planning but we can’t afford the delays. We’ll revisit that when you have a more concrete suggestion.” Be firm in saying that you are good to reopen the discussion when he is more amenable.
What to do when your coworker is a Negative Nancy:
Nancy catches you by the break room. You know it wouldn’t be polite to not say “hi!” So you say a tentative”hi!” She takes that as an invitation to tell you about her lousy day. She begins by telling you how she slept through her alarm, then proceeds to telling you about the horrible traffic, and how the barista messed up her coffee and bagel order again. You sigh inside, you just wanted to take a well deserved coffee break but now, you can’t wait for it to be over.
You just have to bite the bullet with Nancy. Tell her that you’re sorry she’s having such a bad day but that you would really have to get back to work just about now. Try to call her out on being negative but say something sensitive like “I’m sorry you’re having such a bad day but it’s not over yet. Maybe things are starting to look up, give it a few minutes.” Sometimes, all they need is a gentle reminder that life isn’t all fire and brimstone and things can come up roses.
What to do when your coworker is Angry Andy:
You notice Andy slapping and banging at the photocopier, sometimes he’s kicking the trash bin, most times he’s heard verbally abusing his screen monitor. People avoid him. He’s a ticking timebomb and no one wants to be there when his temper tantrums take a turn for the worse and he finally explodes.
Then one day your deepest fear happens. You get paired with Andy for a big work project and would have to work closely with him. You are now bracing yourself for him to suddenly turn green and angry. What do you do? You can’t just go around and walk on eggshells and agree with everything this guy says, right? You are bound to have an instance where you two will not see eye to eye on a topic and you need to have a mature discussion about it.
People like Andy are addicted to anger and might have other personal issues that they can’t manage so they take it out at work. Your best bet is to be calm but firm. Any show of anger from you would reinforce his beliefs that anger is the best way to resolve issues. When he starts to get passionate about the discussion, calmly ask him to NOT raise his voice because shouting is absolutely unnecessary. Tell him to hold that thought and that you will continue the discussion when he is calmer.
What to do when your coworker is Loud Lara:
Lara is the life of the party, but sometimes she’s too much. Ok…a lot of times, she’s too much. Everyone knows when Lara is in for work. Her voice carries over 2 departments away. Her energy is contagious but sometimes, she’s more distracting than helpful. You just have days when you want to hunker down and work through a tight deadline in peace. Lara and her loud antics are an extra challenge.
The good thing about this is that, among the 4 types of challenging co-workers, Lara is approachable,friendly, and well meaning. Don’t be afraid to let Lara know that you are working through a deadline and that if she can take it down a notch, you’d really appreciate it. Suggest that they can maybe take it somewhere else and that you really need to get this report done. Never ever join her though for a gossip session. When she starts gossiping, cut her short and say you really don’t want to talk about other people’s private lives. Offer no excuse and just walk away.
Written by Jaie T.- The Help