Being a ‘YES’ person isn’t always a virtue. Sure, the bosses love you, your colleagues love you – you never say ‘NO’. But if you’re neck deep in work and your manager suddenly pops her head in your office asking if you can take on some short-term, high priority task – is it really a good idea to say yes?

You say YES
This is yet another chance to prove to your manager that you are reliable and competent. It doesn’t matter that your manager does this pretty regularly to you. So you slog away at the task that is due today and put the rest of your work on the backburner. Meanwhile, your co-workers seem to have enough time to work on pet projects. A few of them shine and excel. All of those who get to choose their projects seem to be really enjoying themselves.

You say NO
You take a deep breath and muster up the courage to refuse the additional work. Your manager walks away surprised but impressed that you have set boundaries for yourself. You go back to working on your current projects and don’t feel rushed. As a matter of fact, you even feel ‘time affluent’ (the feeling of being time affluent significantly increases your happiness factor). Your projects get the attention and focus they deserve and you don’t feel so burnt out.

We say yes to everything for a number of reasons. The most common ones being:

• Having little to no set boundaries – new employees often say ‘yes’ to everything because they want to be seen as a team player. However, they underestimate the time and resources it takes to finish a task and could likely end up turning in subpar work. 
• Poor communication skills – ‘no’ is already a full sentence and shouldn’t need anything else. But pushy managers or co-workers need more information. So, some people just say ‘yes’ to avoid having to explain themselves. 
• You might be a people pleaser – saying ‘yes’ to everything is a people pleasing response that falls under the ‘fawn response’. This response is one of four stress responses adopted by our nervous system – the other three being: fight, flight, or freeze.

To address these points, you should:

1. Know your priorities.
What activities will bring the highest return on investment? Once you have identified those, keep track of your priorities so that you can determine if you legitimately are able to handle extra tasks. If you have multiple priorities – saying ‘yes’ to yet another task can easily overwhelm you.

2. Be authentic and straightforward
If you give wishy-washy reasons for refusing other tasks – your managers or colleagues might take that as a crawlspace for them to find a way to pawn off their work to you. Or worse, they could see it as being disingenuous. To avoid frustration, be candid about why you’re saying ‘no and if you’re challenged, stick to your decision and stay steady and clear about your message.

3. Learn to say ‘no’
Aim for a neutral ‘no’. This means being kind but firm – not mean, but not too nice. Be firm and watch your body language (don’t look reluctant). Don’t make the other person feel bad for asking for your help, but don’t give them false hopes either. Try saying:

• “Sorry, no. I’m really busy with my own tasks right now. If you still need help by the end of the week, please let me know. I can offer my help then.”
• “I can’t help you. I am swamped for the next few weeks.” 
• “No, I have no space for additional work at the moment.” 
• “No, I am on several deadlines.”
• “Thanks for reaching out. Unfortunately, my workload does not allow for this additional task within the proposed deadline. If the deadline can be extended to next week, I might be able to accommodate. Please let me know how to proceed.” 
• “I appreciate you thinking of me for this opportunity, but this is outside of my expertise.”

We hope this helps. Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today. Stay safe and healthy!

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp