Once more, it is made clear to us that we live in a small world. Twelve innocent persons died in Paris, a tragedy that touched lives everywhere. We mourn and try to face the loss and the divide, fast becoming an abyss. We can only hope that soon we can find solutions to close the gap that’s staring us in the face.
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Sometimes in the professional world, when we are bypassed for a promotion, our sights tend to focus on the outside, blaming the manager who could not see our value, skills and accomplishments. And so a wedge is unwittingly created. At home, a child gets failing marks; a spouse joins friends instead of returning home to family. Perplexed, we lash out and put the blame on work demands that’s taking over our lives.
But in the equation of human relationships, we consistently forget that we also bring something to the table. We are participants thus have responsibility as well for the child’s low marks and a spouse’s loss of interest in family life.
Lives do not fall apart overnight. A stone will not erode with a single rainstorm. Marriages crumble over time. What happens is that hurt and resentment begin to accumulate, dialogue, a key to building relationships in the professional or personal realm, is forgotten.
Perhaps taking the first step towards that all-important conversation is nerve wracking. “What can I say? How do I start? Will I be respected after this? Am I not being a dummy for bringing it up?” We all have had these thoughts at some point when facing a discussion over a sensitive issue.
“It takes courage not to be defeated by one’s own weaknesses and negativity, courage to be happy,” Daisaku Ikeda, a Buddhist leader in Japan, said. These are words that are worth their weight in gold, words to live by.