No one wants to wish it on others. One of the hardest thing anyone has to go through is loss. But at one point in our lives, we all have experienced loss. It could be the death of a loved one, the loss of a friend, or the end of an important relationship. When something we hold dear is ended or taken away, we experience grief.
Grief comes in many forms. Each person has a different way of grieving and each experience is as different as we are unique. There is one universal pattern though and we know all too well the five stages of grief.
The five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are mechanisms that help us remember, learn, and move on from what we’ve lost.
These stages are NOT a linear progression of emotions that people go through one after the other to be able to get grief over and done with. Sometimes, we spend time circling over 2 or 3 of the stages or sometimes we get stuck on one stage, all with the goal of getting to that stage called acceptance.
After a loss, we all need to go through grieving. It is a necessary process that can’t be abbreviated. Life has it’s own timeline and, though we often don’t agree with it, we have to respect it. Experts say grieving is often a many-year process. But let’s face it, a lot of us don’t have the luxury of waiting years to return to work, school, or the rest of our lives. So we’re forced to jump back into life well before we’re emotionally ready.
But we have to do it, eventually. The world doesn’t stop for us even after it has taken away what we love. It will continue spinning and moving along – with or without us. So we would have to learn to get back on it and join the rest.
We can’t all afford the luxury of taking unlimited time to grief and most often, work restrictions would only grant is a couple of days off of leave, paid leave if you’re lucky.
So listen. And listen well. Listen to your body. Listen to your heart. Don’t suppress your emotions. Many people throw themselves right back to work in the hopes of speeding up the grieving process.
Don’t just throw yourself back into work and hope that it gives you some semblance of normalcy fast. There is a right way and right time to grieve and only you can figure out how and when that is.
Don’t spread yourself too thin. Someday, even the smallest tasks can be overwhelming. You are going to need the help of family, friends, and co-workers.
Just remember, be kind. To yourself, to others… kindness in general will help with grief. Let other people help you. Let them rally around you in your time of need. Consequently, when you know someone who is going through grief, rally around them for support.
After everything has settled, there will still be bills to pay, deadlines to meet, people to call, stuff to do. No one can operate on robot mode for the rest of their lives. We would have to pull ourselves up.
In the end, we all want to get to that golden gate of acceptance where we can finally be at peace and start to move on. As always, remember to: Stay Humble, Hustle Hard. Good luck!
Written by Jaie O. – The Help