People all are all about balancing things: work, family, and everything else in between. Sometimes, we drop the ball. Sometimes, something happens that make us lose our balance. Sometimes we fail at small things: keeping our New Year’s resolution, staying on a diet, starting an exercise regime, or controlling clutter in our homes. Sometimes we fail at larger things: overcoming an addiction, finding employment, or keeping our relationships together.

The failures we make on such large scales can make a negative impact the rest of our lives. Things like keeping a marriage together, persuading a child to make better choices, or overcoming debt can deal a major blow. In some cases, life deals us a major challenge, a very hard obstacle, and we can’t seem to pick ourselves up off the ground after.

Like any other muscle in our body though, the ability to overcome challenges is something that needs to be exercised and honed over time. This ability is in fact the most important muscle to build, because it gives you the confidence to face any challenge life throws your way.

The first thing to do when dealt with such an overwhelming obstacle is to acknowledge that you are experiencing it. Wherever there is adversity, there is the will to overcome. So many who have gone before us have experienced adversity in greater magnitude. I say this not to diminish the hardships that we face in our lives, but to remind ourselves that we shall overcome. This will not downplay our weaknesses but instead prepare us to face whatever is in our way.

Acknowledging that we are facing adversity reminds us that nobody is perfect and that we are among others who have tried, failed, and tried again. Failure is common and no one has monopoly over bad luck, or bad choices in life.

Too many times, our tendency is to blame others or look outward for anything, or anyone to accuse of conspiring against us – the universe, our luck, our loved ones, friends – anything else. But really, no one else has absolute control over our lives except ourselves. Let us take responsibility and own the problem. That’s the way to take control over the situation.

Do some damage control, take care of what you can and let go of the things you can’t control. It’s okay. Life is teaching us about perseverance – listen and learn the lesson.

Forgive. Forgive yourself for not seeing the signs. Forgive yourself for not making the right choices. Forgive yourself for your lousy luck. And if you find that your pain is caused by someone else – forgive others. We find freedom in forgiveness. We owe it to ourselves to find closure. It is the first step towards healing.

Ask for help. No man is an island and you’re not suppose to go through this alone. Rally your tribe around you and draw strength from their collective wisdom and care. Never lose hope. Adversity is easier when you share your burden with others. Let them help you. If this is a personal journey and something you have to sort out yourself, share your stories. Let others learn and draw strength from your experience. Share it with honesty and humility.

Rise. You can do this. Remember to: Stay Humble, Hustle Hard. Good luck!

Written by Jaie O. – The Help

Budgeting – Every adult must have this skill. When you’re young and living with your parents, you take for granted having to budget your money.  After all, mom and dad can always bail you out when you need extra money. But  when you’re out of the house and living on your own, things get to be a little bit trickier – or a lot trickier!

So here you are now, all grown up and trying to manage your own finances. You’ve  done a good job so far at making ends meet. You’ve got the bills covered and living expenses down pat. You even have enough to go out with friends and buy a book or two. But it seems that you are living from paycheck to paycheck and just spending all your hard earned money with not enough wiggle room for securing your financial future like paying off debts, investing, or building a nest egg. Then you start asking yourself, where does the money go?

A practical solution is to build a budget. Then you’ll see where all your hard earned moolah goes. Simply put, a budget is a summary of your income vs expenses over a given period of time, let’s say a month. It is a breakdown of how much you make and where you plan to spend it. Sounds easy but a lot of grown ups have no idea how to budget. This is especially true if you are a young professional who’s just starting out in your career. We all get excited to earn our own money and waste no time spending it on things we dreamed of spending it on while we were still living with our parents. Because, why not? Now you can buy your own groceries, eat at that fancy place, and buy those beautiful graphic novels.

Truth of the matter is, we all learn the hard way. Sometimes it is in the form of an emergency, and sometimes we just get in way over our heads with too much spending. Other times, it is just the simple realization that we may have enough for now but then we’ve got to start paying off those student loans or cards debts.

Here are some tips to get you started on building a budget:

Start now

Sounds simple but this is really the hardest yet most important step. Most times, people put it of until they’re really in financial trouble. Don’t wait for an emergency before you start building a budget. It can be as detailed as having a financial planner or using spreadsheets and smart budgeting apps, or it can be as simple as buying a ledger and going old school pen and paper.

Document your spending

All budgeting starts with this: writing down your income (include all sources of income) and all your expenses. Yes, you include that coffee you got on your way to work. Yes, that bill you split with your friend counts. Yes, the money that grandma sent for your birthday counts as income, too. Yes, document all of it. All of it!

Automate it

You can skip this step if you’re using pen and paper. But there are a lot of apps that can make budgeting easier. I’m not going make this a product placement article so I’m not going to mention these apps but you may hunt around the internet using the following keywords: “best app for budgeting” That’ll return some results that you could try. Pick one that makes a lot of sense to you and fits your budgeting needs. Most of these apps are really helpful in helping you keep track of your money. Use them as tools to help you towards your financial goal.

Have a contingency plan

Have enough wiggle room for emergencies. Personally, I follow a 60-20-20 rule. Of my income, 60% goes towards living expenses (utilities, rent, bills, etc.), 20% goes towards fun (because that’s why we work so hard, right?), and 20% goes towards an emergency fund. This is very important. This is the litmus test for all grown ups. You know you are an adult when the car breaks down or someone in the family comes down with illness and you have emergency funds.

Adjust

The 60-20-20 rule does NOT work for everyone. Feel free to adjust it depending on your personal needs. You can do Ramit Sethi’s 60-10-10-20 or Arthur Isabella’s 50-30-20. It’s all up to you. The key is to leave money in the budget for savings or investments or emergencies.

Stick to the plan

Lastly, stick to the plan. Like I always say, no one gets it right the first time. But if you keep planning and adjusting, budgeting will ultimately become a habit until you just automatically do it.

Let us know what works for you. Remember to: Stay Humble, Hustle Hard. Good luck!

Written by Jaie O. – The Help

Easter is celebrated in many countries around the world.   It is a time of renewal and for strengthening dedication to their spiritual beliefs. Our daily prayers are as much a part of our everyday rituals much like our hobbies. Prayers make part of our religious rituals, while practicing our favorite hobbies, like playing lawn tennis or basketball, make part of our recreational activities. However, as in any endeavor, engaging in an activity over a certain time period makes a practitioner complacent, confident that techniques that brought them success will continue to reap rewards.

It’s easy to forget the initial commitment of an aspiring professional, be it in sports or at a job. Sports and work require a team. In sports, the team behind the player is obvious – coach, trainer, and the like – whereas the worker’s team may not be as apparent – the company, the family, and colleagues.

In a medium-sized company that continues to grow, a congenial atmosphere may come about. The friendly and comfortable office environment could possibly lead to deeper relationships. It may encourage non-professional relationships such as friendships or romantic involvement. It could also encourage a laid back, even sloppy attitude towards work. Negligent attitudes by employees can be seen in the following:

• A manager/supervisor fails to prioritize and delegate task forcing him/her to attend to the task himself/herself. This may result to misappropriation of resources where skills of both manager and team members are re-allocated and manpower underutilized.
• Managers/supervisors are expected to lead by example. A coach who preaches, “Smoking is not allowed during practice!” yet lights up Marlboros every five minutes cannot expect his team to listen, let alone pay attention. When a manager/supervisor is always late, subordinates in the same office will be as tardy. Habitual tardiness breeds another problem because credibility becomes questionable. A boss who is not credible to her team may lose her workers’ respect and trust.
• Policies and procedures are in place for many reasons, one of which is to measure performance. Failure to punctually check in with clients, habitual late return from lunch breaks, neglecting to inform manager/supervisor about changes in employees’ accounts, not keeping them in the loop, etc. are all questionable behaviours that management can use as yardsticks on which employee movement such as promotions, salary increase, and termination can be based.
• A long time client is more sociable towards company employees. Unfortunately, the same client’s deliverables do not get the expected quality and standards from company staff.
• Workers become too comfortable at work.  They feel that they are now on good terms and friends with manager/supervisor who will back them up or be tolerant of errors or unsatisfactory work.  Unsatisfactory work may lead to clients canceling their contract.
• When a company has taken a responsible role by providing an employee care plan for health concerns along with making a company doctor available, workers are expected to take care of themselves in return. It is the responsibility of committed employees to take care of their health knowing that it is better for business and for their career.

Virtual assistance requires focus and attention because company clients are scattered around the globe. Employees must get enough rest, sleep, and not overdo weekend activities. Long trips must be planned, and scheduled properly since exhaustion will result in unprepared and inefficient workers. 

Therefore, it is an absolute necessity for every professional to remain committed to that initial enthusiasm on the first day on the job. It is important to improve from the person of yesterday, to a better one today, and the even great one in the future.

As Easter comes to an end, renew a commitment to progress, in both the spiritual and professional aspects. Without one, the other will not prosper.

Written by Yoli P.

Edited by Jaie. T.

Everybody needs a sense of purpose, a reason to wake up each morning and hunker down to face the challenges and accept the rewards of yet another day. As soon as we hit that age when we are able to work, everyone has worked towards achieving a goal. And if you ask anybody why they’re working, most of them will say: I’m working for my family.

Work and family go hand in hand. It doesn’t matter which comes first – maybe you’ve started a family first and found work after to sustain your growing family. Or you’ve set your sights on building a career out of your work and in the journey started to raise a family. But if you’ve got both, it may seem that you’ve got the whole world in the palm of your hands.

Ah, but there comes a time when one gets to be more demanding than the other. More often than not, the conflict between work life and family life is the most common source of stress for all working individuals. At some point in your life, one aspect would demand more of your time. Say for example, the birth of a new baby. A huge chunk of your time would be devoted to your family. Or it could be a promotion and more work responsibilities. Then, work would be a priority. Be careful, letting go of the other could lead to disastrous consequences.

This could result in poor relationships, and depending on which one you’re focusing on, it could lead to inefficiency at work or strained relationships with your family. Not to mention, a few other repercussions that include a hit to your mental, emotional, and physical health.

We all recognize the need to find balance and a semblance of order in our lives. It is a lifelong process of trial and error and no one gets it right the first time. Here are a few tips on how to find the sweet spot – the perfect balance between work and family.

Establish limits

This is very important. Without it, you could find yourself getting drawn into obligations you want or have nothing to do with. You should make a list of non negotiables and set very hard limits for yourself. For example, most  weekends especially Sundays are reserved for Families. You might set a hard “no work on weekends” rule.

Also, learn to let go of things that do not add value to your life. With the advent of the internet, there are a lot of time wasters available out there: games, tv shows, videos, etc. The time you spend watching cat videos over and over again could be time spent playing with the kids or having dinner with your spouse.

Compromise

Learn the value of compromise and the subtle art of negotiation. You can make time for very important life events in your family by being diligent at work. Finish the jobs you can, outsource those that you can’t. If that doesn’t work – set time to chip away at the task you have on your plate or schedule it for another day. It’s just a matter of moving things around and seeing where they can fit.

Share the load

Family means you already have built in team members who will always and forever be on your side. Leverage this by sharing the load. Nobody expects you to do this all by yourself, so get help and enlist the support of your spouse or other family members. Let your spouse understand your obligations and tasks. If you know you’re going to have a hectic day, tell your spouse about your workload so that he or she can adjust schedules accordingly and know when to expect an easier and more manageable schedule.

We’re all still trying to get it together. Even the most responsible adult I know can drop the ball sometimes. Like I said before, no one gets it right the first time – or even after trying a few times. It all boils down to what works for you and your family. If you know of any tips to make balancing work and family easier or would like to share what works for you, please share them with us in the comments. Remember to: Stay Humble, Hustle Hard. Good luck!

Written by Jaie O. – The Help

There is one universal rule: Do unto others as you would have done to you. This one golden rule has variations in almost all cultures all around the world and may have more emotional health implications than we think.

Ever wonder why you get that inner glow after helping out someone else? Don’t you secretly feel proud of yourself after helping out at a shelter or soup kitchen? Or after donating to charity? Aren’t you inspired to give more or do more charity work just minutes after volunteering?

That feeling is also a universal feeling. Volunteers all around the world have known this truth for a very long time. In their hands, they hold the secret to happiness in the form of giving.

Maybe it has something to do with feeling empowered. As Barack Obama put it so eloquently “The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” And it is true isn’t it? Helping others makes you feel that you are able to make a difference no matter how small you perceive it to be.

This bit of essential information is backed by hard science too. Giving to charity actually triggers the brain’s mesolimbic system. That’s where we get feelings of reward – it’s actually what psychologists call a “helper’s high.”

Not only do you get a “mesolimbic boost”, you also get a self esteem boost and an optimism boost. Not to mention, doing acts of charity and kindness lowers your stress levels and will make you appreciate what you have more. So you get an extra gratefulness boost and lower stress levels to boot. Few activities have all those perks altogether and they’re enough to give you a big happiness boost.

Want to give your heart a happiness boost? Here’s a list of organizations that can help you get started on your volunteering journey, from where you are and no matter what your level of experience is:.

Big Brothers and Big Sisters: They’ve been around for more than 100 years and has been “the nation’s largest donor and volunteer supported mentoring network. Big Brothers Big Sisters makes meaningful, monitored matches between adult volunteers (“Bigs”) and children (“Littles”), ages 6 through 18, in communities across the country. We develop positive relationships that have a direct and lasting effect on the lives of young people. “

Change Net is powered by Heart’s and Minds Volunteer Organization and is also home to the End Poverty Campaign. They have programs that let you volunteer from anywhere.

Feed the Children Feed the Children exists to end childhood hunger. It’s the cause upon which we were founded 35 years ago and the one that we continue to fight for each and every day. Their hotline is 1-866-614-4991, is staffed 24 hours a day, and is managed by an independent firm.

Habitat for humanity is “a nonprofit, ecumenical Christian ministry that builds with people in need regardless of race or religion, we welcome volunteers and supporters from all backgrounds.  

They have more than 1,400 local affiliates in the United States and more than 70 national organizations around the world. They have helped 6.8 million people improve their living conditions since their founding in 1976.

Red Cross: The Red Cross offers a lot of volunteering options from anywhere in the world, from being a community volunteer, an advocate, a blood drive volunteer etc. Information on more ways to help are available on their website.

United Nations Volunteer Like the Red Cross UN Volunteers also offer a few ways to volunteer your time or resources. “The United Nations Volunteers (UNV) programme is the UN organization that promotes volunteerism to support peace and development worldwide. Volunteerism can transform the pace and nature of development, and it benefits both society at large and the individual volunteer. UNV contributes to peace and development by advocating for volunteerism globally, encouraging partners to integrate volunteerism into development programming, and mobilizing volunteers.”

WWF: The WWF has been protecting the future of nature for 50 years. It is “the world’s leading conservation organization, WWF works in 100 countries and is supported by 1.2 million members in the United States and close to 5 million globally. WWF’s unique way of working combines global reach with a foundation in science, involves action at every level from local to global, and ensures the delivery of innovative solutions that meet the needs of both people and nature.”

Written by Jaie O. – The Help