We’re in year 3 of the pandemic, and even as things seem to be returning to normal, there is always the threat of another storm brewing ahead (a new outbreak that could light the surge of another variant). During the past few years, we’ve all felt some form of loss as a result of the pandemic: the loss of livelihood, the painful loss of a loved one, and the loss of the “normal” way of life. 

While a lot of us have moved on in our own little way, there is just enough ambiguous loss for us to be feeling grief once in a while. What even is ambiguous loss? It is “a loss that occurs without a significant likelihood of reaching emotional closure or a clear understanding. This kind of loss leaves a person searching for answers, and thus complicates and delays the process of grieving, and often results in unresolved grief.”

For us, we’ve had to move on from the losses of the past few years in order to feel some semblance of being back to normalcy and be able to feel like we’re in the “old normal” again. But without closure, sometimes grief seeps in. 

We all know the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, grief doesn’t really follow a linear order. And it can be triggered by even the little things, a scent, a photo, a memory…

Sometimes, we cycle through the stages and sometimes we skip and jump right through them. Being able to cope looks different for everybody and it also takes time. And that’s ok, not everyone has the same timeline or the same journey. The important thing is to keep working towards acceptance.

There are a few other things that you can do as you work your way through grief and loss, here are some of them:

Honor the loss – acknowledge the person, the event, the experience, or the thing you are grieving over. Some of us like to power through making efforts to forget the memories. Rather than avoiding the memory of the loss, honor it by participating in rituals, ceremonies, etc. This is why the lockdown was rather hard on those who were grieving. It took away the ability of people to gather and participate in funerals, wakes, and cultural ceremonies that honor the life and death of lost loved ones. 

Express your emotions – it begins with identifying your triggers and knowing how to cope when they come. Stop avoiding or denying the loss. You won’t be able to wish it away or prevent it from ever happening. What’s done is done. The only thing left is to get to the point of acceptance and start healing.  

Ask for help – don’t let pride get in the way. When you need it, and you are going to need it eventually, ask for help. It could be from a friend, a close relative, a  support group, a therapist, or a counselor. And when others need it – be there to support them through their grief. 

Have you started on your healing journey? How are you doing so far? Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today. Stay safe and healthy!

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp

We often think of fun as the opposite of work. In fact, we think of fun as a pleasant distraction from work. However, fun has many real life benefits which include better mental health, healthier body, and, won’t you know it, success!

Have you heard of the Happiness Paradox? The Happiness Paradox states that “when people try hard to be happy — when they make feeling happy a goal — their well-being tends to suffer for it.” So, if deliberating chasing after happiness makes a person miserable instead, what should the person do? Why turn to fun, of course!

Unlike happiness, fun is not a subjective condition that results from correctly aligned circumstances (e.g. when I get the job, when I have more time, when I earn more money, etc.). Fun is something that you can engage in anywhere and at any time.

Fun and play is linked with less fatigue, less burnout, a boost in empathy and EQ, accelerated learning. More engagement, and creativity. Studies also show that people who have more fun live an average of eight years longer than their more serious counterparts. Do you want to reap all of these benefits? Well here are some tips to attract more fun into your life:

1. Be easy to laugh
Some people wear seriousness like a badge of honor. They would know a joke if it hit them in the face. Don’t be that poker faced person. Be easy to laugh. How? Find more things to laugh about. Look for funny things and more moments to laugh. The more you find those fun moments, the easier it gets to find more. Bonus point: the easier you are to laugh, the more attractive you are to other people and to more moments of fun. It’s a win-win cycle!

2. Instead of “Yes but”, say “Yes and…”
This is an improv tip that gets used a lot in comedy and creativity training. What it is: it’s greeting new ideas with positivity (‘YES”) and generating new ideas of your own (“AND”). Why it works: it works because you don’t shoot an idea down on the onset, and instead accept, affirm and build on it. It opens you up to creativity and encourages possibilities.

3. Send out the signals
Each signal is unique to everyone. The simple act of a smile, making a point to look up from your phone and act like you’re noticing the world for the first time, a “silver lining” line (“good time to practice for the marathon” [while you’re in a traffic jam]), or a simple happy dance can signal that you’re up for some fun. Not only do you send out signals to whomever you’re with that you’re off to banter or do something less mundane and more playful you also send a signal out to the universe to send you more opportunities to have a laugh.

With these tips, you’ll be a fun magnet in no time. What are your fun attracting tips? Share them with us in the comments. Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today. Stay safe and healthy!

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp

New year, new you – isn’t that how the saying goes? Why do we make new year’s resolutions? Why this particular date? New Year’s day is a universal reset point for almost everyone in the world. Hear that – universal! That means it can stand true anywhere you are in the world. 

Sure, you can start your keto diet or your masterclasses on some random date, say Aug 18, 2023. But for a lot of us, the new year brings in a clean slate and everyone can start anew. It’s like a reset button that comes every year! So instead of picking some random date to start their newest endeavor, the consensus is to do it on a new year’s day, the first day of the first month – there’s no better starting point.

Why do we set new year’s resolutions anyway? And why is keeping them important to our wellbeing? Here are 3 reasons:

1. Aspiration

Setting New Year’s resolutions helps you create the person you aspire to be. This means there will be a lot of self reflection involved in creating your resolutions. We take stock of our lives and carefully look for areas where we want to improve and – to use an often quoted mantra – be a better version of yourself. For example, if your New Year’s resolution is to become smarter – then a goal of reading 1 book a month makes practical sense.

2. Stability

New Year’s resolutions can become the kick off point for guiding your decisions and helping you focus. For example, if you vow to lose 10 pounds by March – then this goal can guide you to make healthier food choices or to exercise more. Your goals can also help you focus on what matters to you. For example, if your goal is to read more, then it makes more sense to spend your down time picking up a book and diving into it instead of browsing through Netflix for another binge-worthy series that could take up your time during the weekends.

3. Drive

New Year’s resolutions can help you with motivation. How many of us have said to ourselves that we were going to reduce our carbs intake but then found ourselves binge-ing on mac n cheese in front of the TV? Raise your hand. I’m right there with you. Setting goals for yourself for the new year not only helps you with what you aspire to be and helps create a clear path for living your life this year, it also helps drive you to reach your goals. For example, if you’re dead-set on saving for international travel – then impulse buys and unnecessary spending will have to take a back seat. 

See, New Year’s resolutions don’t deserve the flack they’re getting. Jump on the bandwagon and make that list if you haven’t already. Vow to be healthier, happier and more successful this year. Share your resolutions with us in the comments (only if you want to). Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today. Stay safe and healthy!

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp

1. Drink water – the easiest way to drink more water is to buy a thermal flask you really like and use that often. Another way is to swap out sugary drinks for water. You can use an app, a journal, or a marked water bottle if you’re serious about tracking your water intake. Besides, you can’t improve on what you don’t measure.
2. Volunteer more often – or just do one random act of kindness more often. Challenge yourself to make it a habit.
3. Make the more eco-friendly choice – if you were to choose between grabbing coffee at your nearest coffee shop and making your own, which one do you think is the more eco-friendly choice. Choose that.
4. Send handwritten notes – send handwritten cards, thank you notes, or holiday greetings. Why? Because no one does that anymore. Plus, it’ll make your recipient feel more special.
5. Call your mother – right now. You know the number.
6. Wake up at the same time each day – pick a wake-up time already and stick to that.
7. Go to sleep at the same time each day – pick a sleeping time and stick to that. Basically, have consistent wake-up and sleep times. It’s part of good sleep hygiene and will ensure that you are well-rested and not sleep-deprived.
8. Have a regular skincare routine – even if it’s just the basic 3: cleanse, tone, moisturize. Try to incorporate that in your morning or evening routine.
9. Perfect one recipe – even if it’s just scrambled eggs. Everyone should have a go-to recipe that they can do really well.
10. Set a monthly budget (try the envelope system) – we’ve talked about the envelope system here. You may have your favorite system for budgeting, use what works for you.
11. Try something new once a month – it doesn’t have to be something as big as skydiving. It can be as simple as trying new cuisine (Peruvian Chicken, anyone?).
12. Floss.
13. Let go of one bad habit – give up smoking or social media doom scrolling. Too easy? How about quitting these other bad habits: multitasking, procrastinating, being late, being in a bad relationship, hanging out with pessimists, overworking…you get the idea. 
14. Road to zero inbox – keep your inbox clean and aim to have zero messages.
15. Do a social media audit – delete the social media apps you never use or rarely visit. 
16. Take a break from social media – it can be for an hour, a day, a week, a year…
17. Complete a monthly challenge – do a 30-day yoga challenge or a no spend month. It’s up to you. Challenge yourself.
18. Clean out your closet – Mari Kondo your way into a cleaner closet. Donate or sell the items you never use anymore.
19. Try meatless Mondays – there are more meatless options than the boring old salad. Try meatless chili, veggie pho, or vegan dumplings.
20. Have a signature scent – use scents to work for you. Plus, having a signature scent will make you feel more sophisticated and hard to forget.

Which one of these will make it to your new year’s resolutions list? Share them with us in the comments. Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today. Stay safe and healthy!

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp

It’s almost the new year and just like last year, you vow to be as productive, efficient, and successful as you can this coming year. If you nailed your resolutions this year, well good for you. But if you feel like you could do better, here are a few tips to up your productivity game and kick-off the new year with a new and improved you:

Tip #1: Write a ‘to-NOT-do’ list

Everyone knows the concept of a to-do list, but what about a to-NOT-do list? A ‘to-NOT-do’ list forces you to look at your biggest time wasters and lets you focus on the things that make more economic sense or the things that get you in the ‘flow’. It helps you audit your activities and find out which ones can be delegated or deleted entirely.

Tip #2: Plan activities around your energy levels

Everyone has their most productive time. For some people it will be at the start of the day, mid-day for some, and some work really well into the night. Find out your most productive time and schedule your most critical or most demanding work around where your energy peaks at the highest. If you’re an early bird, plan to work on your taxes in the early morning. If you’re a night owl, plan to write that paper at night. If you’re a confused pigeon, choose a part of the day that works best for you. 

You can use the same concept for scheduling your week, too. Mondays are slow burn, since you’re coming off the weekend – so do your low demand tasks then. Peak productivity days are Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Energy tends to drop on Thursdays. On Fridays, you’re toast.

Tip #3: Schedule procrastination

YES, you read that right. Plan for procrastination breaks. If you’ve deluded yourself that you will ever procrastinate on a task – you’re setting yourself up for failure. When you’re hard at work – some distraction can be a good thing. They help you get over decision fatigue and give your brain a mental break. Indulge temporarily (the operative word) in a time wasting activity for a few minutes – 15 seems to be a good number. Then get back to being hard at work.

Tip #4: Automate

If there are redundant tasks in your life that you can automate, by all means do so. Get a programmable coffee machine. Pick one day (I suggest Sundays) to lay out your daily outfits for the week, so you don’t have to waste time picking out what to wear for the day. There is a reason why Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs wear the same outfits day in and day out – it helps them get over decision fatigue so that they can use that mental energy towards making more important decisions. 

Do you have favorite productivity hacks you want to share? Share them with us in the comments. Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today. Stay safe and healthy!

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp