The Covid-19 pandemic has taken away so much from us. For some, it has taken away livelihood. For a lot of us, it has taken away our chance to travel. For almost all of us, it has taken away the ability to celebrate together with friends and family. And for those who have lost loved ones, it has taken away our chance to grieve.
Every culture in the whole world has its own funeral rites, customs, and rituals. But, no matter how different we mourn for our loss, we all share a central element, and that is social connection. Physical distancing takes away our ability to comfort each other during a time of grief. It takes away the opportunity to be with other mourners. We essentially have to find new ways and rituals to honor death and to celebrate life.
Saying goodbye to our loved ones begins well before the funeral rites. Those who are lucky enough to be able to spend time with a loved one before they pass, make the moments count by making amends, having deep conversations, and affirming their bonds. These practices soften the blow of loss.
Strict isolation measures in hospitals prevent visits from friends and family, this is most especially true of Covid-19 cases. While these are critical safety measures to prevent the disease from spreading, these measures also hinder loved ones from saying their final farewells. Getting closure is an important step in the grieving process and the bereaved are deprived of this important step.
Funeral rites and traditions are designed to honor the legacy of the deceased. They also offer others a chance to provide the bereaved with emotional support – very instrumental in helping the bereaved in processing their grief.
We all experience grief differently and process it at different rates. If you or someone you know is experiencing grief, here are some things that might help.
There are different stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). It is normal to want to get to the “acceptance” stage as quickly as possible. However, you might find yourself going back and forth through the stages. Work through your emotions at your own pace. People can be too helpful for their own good, and some, while very well-meaning, might offer advice about “moving on” that might not be taken too well or might not work for you. Just remember that your feelings are valid. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Practice self-care. Check the bare minimum requirements off of your list: get some rest, eat well, take regular showers, stay hydrated, write your thoughts in a journal, meditate. But self-care also involves reaching out to family and friends. Check-in from time to time and be each other’s support system. While you may not be able to do this face to face, you can arrange virtual catch-ups to help bridge the gap. Self-care also involves seeking help. Consider working with a mental health professional and exploring online therapy.
However, you choose to deal with grief, remember to give yourself permission to mourn. Be kind to yourself and to others. How do you deal with grief? Let us know in the comments. Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today. Stay safe and healthy!
Written by Jaie O. TheHelp