Among family, friends, and colleagues, compliments and criticism are parts of daily life – one is an expression of admiration while the other is the act of evaluating or judging the qualities, abilities, and faults of something or somebody. While praise is easy to the ears and the psyche, criticism, on the other hand, produces a negative reaction. Some go into a defensive mode of thinking (during a performance evaluation conversation), others lash back thru a cutting remark.

Constructive criticism, however, is meant to create space for growth. Companies hire independent consultants to assess management skills and styles of its middle level managers. In much the same way, supervisors evaluate personnel to assess career tracks that may be available to them.

For recipients of criticism, keep in mind that it is impossible to see a fleck in one’s eye without the use of a mirror. Equipped with this image, here are four steps to ease acceptance of constructive criticism.

1. Evaluate. In constructive criticism, managers cite areas for improvement. At the same time, suggestions are made to achieve the goal of improving work performance. Adopting a mindset of someone who is positive in most situations, this can be an opportunity for career advancement.
2. Source. While evaluating the criticism itself, consider the source as well. If it doesn’t come from a manager, teacher, or a coach, think about the motivation. People can be jealous, envious, or simply without tact.
3. Thank and acknowledge the feedback provider. Even if the discussion was strained, thank the manager. An attitude of appreciation for constructive criticism often surprises the critic. It shows one is ready to take on the work of improving and learning from the criticism provided.
4. Make the areas cited for improvement a priority. For example, if the feedback is that of missed deadlines for projects, examine where the bottleneck is and find a solution. If the criticism focuses on the manner of answering the phone, read up on telephone answering skills or even better, sign up for training.

Changes will not happen overnight but the learning can start immediately. It begins with the mindset that an employee’s excellent performance inside the company shows in the improved business/client relationships.

Written by Yoli P. – The Help

The extreme disorder of things – accumulated papers, toys from childhood, collection of all types can easily become clutter without organization. Clutter could also refer to a confused mental state and an obstacle to positive energy. Having an untidy environment can distract from clear thinking and focus on the task at hand.

Most of us don’t plan on having clutter. Everyone has it and these are either unused or much loved stuff, unfinished projects among others. Disorganization happens but life functions better when we know where everything is. It might be important to find out why we can’t bear to part with an item. Projects waiting for attention are easily forgotten but it affects us. For example, a broken drawer needs repair. Meanwhile, it is a distraction causing irritation between family members.

 

Clutter can have far reaching negative effects. Some general outcomes are feeling tired, living in the past, disharmony and procrastination.

Just seeing a messy room can generate lethargy. Over a few days or weeks, the disorder is not lessened and more items such as mail and documents are added. Procrastination can set in. Unbeknownst to us, we’ve started a behavior that could easily develop in to a habit. If we share living space with anyone, disagreement can creep in.

We have clutter because we don’t know how to let go. Sentimental items like birthday cards and photos are part of the past. These may even be reminders of problems that have gone unresolved over the years and keeping them prevents new experiences from coming into our lives.

Buying stuff we don’t actually need is another major source of clutter. For example, in trying to become an expert at making bead jewelry, pliers of different sizes are acquired. They remain unused for years, forgotten and gathering dust.

Organization is important in preventing clutter. However, a routine must be followed. Weekly sorting through the mail would help. Going through the house every six months to clear cupboards, desks, and drawers to remove unwanted and unused stuff will definitely prevent clutter.

As Louise Smith said: “You can’t reach for anything new, if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.” Aptly put.

 

Written by Yoli P. – The Help

 

 

 

 

There’s no preventing pressure and deadlines, causes of stress, from coming up in the professional and personal sides of life. Along with deliverables at work, there’s stress that’s bubbling in the periphery of an 8-hour day such as getting caught in traffic or not finding a document needed for a meeting that’s happening in 15 minutes. And according to medical opinion, about 90% of diseases are stress related. Its detrimental effects include cardiovascular ailments, risk of obesity, and depression.

Behavior and mindset change to minimize stress are achievable, difficult as they may be. Supportive family and friends are critical in helping lessen stress hormone levels. Cancer survivors attest to the important role of techniques that reduce stress in healing.

Physical activity increases growth hormones while lowering stress causing ones. For example, simple morning and evening stretches will go a long way in preventing immune system health problems. Recognize and clear stressors from personal life, which means not wasting time over activities that are unsatisfactory. Breathe deeply. Impulsive decisions and actions are avoided when one is in a serene state of mind. Gardening, as hobby for relaxation, is a good preventive tool against stress.

Over and above all, getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night is essential. Finding a method for falling asleep is personal to each individual. Cancer patients use mindfulness meditation, “the intentional, accepting and non-judgmental focus of one’s attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment,” (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness_meditation) to reduce stress and sleep better. Writing a to-do list helps the mind relax as work waiting to be done usually puts sleep at bay.

The best method, however, is changing perspectives. Instead of looking at problems, focus on the solutions. Replaying the challenging scenarios increases stress levels and doesn’t bring up the answers. There’s no controlling every problem but selecting the ones that can be changed is an available choice that leads to good management of stress.

 

Written by Yoli P.- The Help

E-mail is the preferred means of communication in the working world. Discreet and fast, they are mostly informal and employ an easy conversational tone. Virtual assistants are, if not on Skype, always reachable by e-mail.

More people like e-mailing because it is direct, simple, and quick. Best of all, it allows communication with individuals in another time zone. Information can be sent to a person’s electronic mailbox where it’ll be waiting for retrieval when they start the workday.

Much like the traditional letter, an e-mail has a heading, a body, and the closing. The subject line, however, indicates a brief and clear summary of the email’s contents. The body, on the other hand, is made up of short sentences. Long sentences can be confusing and maybe difficult to understand. Short and simple is the best rule of thumb.

It always helps to keep in mind the recipient, the final reader of the e-mail. Will it be a colleague, client, or the boss? Examples of formal opening to an e-mail’s body –

                        Thank you for your email of January 16…

                        I was wondering if,,,

Bad grammar is sometimes acceptable to friends and some colleagues. However, if the e-mail is for a client or a manager, grammatical errors and a familiar tone are not suitable.

Close attention to basic grammar, capitalization, and punctuation is needed. Words are chosen carefully; compare these two groups: a) attentive, agreed, pleased; b) impossible, difficult, busy. E-mails received can be learning tools, studied for the language used.

Above all, discretion in the writing of e-mails is necessary. They may reappear in a situation that could compromise a friendship or a deal. As Constance Hale aptly put it, “Be bold. Be fast. Get to the point right away. The best e-mail communication is simple and clear.”

Written by Yoli P.- The Help

 

Writing is one of the many services The Help provides. From article writing, blogging, manuscript, narrative reporting, translation, product reviewing, and many others – we take pride in what we do. 

Another personal favorite I have is poetry writing. Let me share with you how my love for writing all started. 

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In 6^th grade I encountered poetry in assigned readings.  I recall reading Christopher Marlowe’s The Passionate Shepherd to his Love, Alfred Lord Tennyson’s The Charge of the Light Brigade, and Edgar Allan Poe’s Annabel Lee in high school. Classroom discussions of Faust, Beowulf, and other works led to a lifelong relationship with poetry.

Since then I’ve been writing poems; and have had the good fortune that some merited publication. Aside from a love of words, a certain guiding instinct propels someone to write stanzas, rhymes and even an entire story in verse. How does that happen? How does a poem come alive? Some discoveries –

1. Write the poem or thoughts that the muse brings at the first instance. That means no waiting because the muse’s visits can be fleeting.  Write everything down without restraint. I constantly have a pencil on me and have whipped out any available piece of paper – notebook, bookmarks, and receipts – while in the middle of a conversation. For example, I wrote the following in June 2009:

                  Whistling flutes

                  out of tune –

                  Are my ears not

                  attuned? Somewhere

                  there’s a conductor.

 

2. The first draft must have breathing space. Unfortunately, there’s no written rule on how long that space might be.  Return to it in a week, a month, or a year, come back with new information. Elizabeth Bishop composed poems over months and years, pinning incomplete drafts on a notice board with gaps left for the right word, whenever that might come.

3. Revise, rewrite, and read aloud. Much like other art forms, a poem is never finished. There’s constant room for improvement.

Start from scratch – begin from words that come spontaneously. The first drafts may sound strange, pay attention to line breaks, make sure that images carry the poem forward, listen to the poems’ direction. Read the poem aloud, listening for the jarring sounds, eliminating digressing ideas. In many ways, writing poetry is the art of putting one’s soul on the page.

William Carlos Williams wrote, “It is difficult to get the news from poems, but men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there.” Great reminder of the central role poetry could have in everyone’s life!

 

Written by Yoli P. – The Help