Feb17

Navigating an Office Romance

Posted on by
Navigating an Office Romance

Valentine’s Day has come and gone and although it is not an official holiday, many have celebrated it with their loved ones be it a significant other, friends, or family. How many of you have celebrated it with a coworker? I’m not talking about celebrating as a group with the mandatory heart topped cupcakes, red balloons, or (insert Valentine’s themed item for giveaway here)  being given away at the office during Valentine’s day. I’m talking about an office romance.

There are a lot of people who meet their significant others at work or through work projects. However, in many companies, dating a coworker is frowned upon. Some even have company policies against it. But what if you’ve been flirting with a colleague and want things to progress to the next level? The heart wants what the heart wants, right? Should you forget about your budding relationship and just cut it short? Should you pursue it low-key? What exactly is the ideal thing to do in this situation?

We spend ⅓ of our lives at work and because of this sheer amount of time, we will often get to meet people who are very similar to us. We work in close proximity with others and get to see one another day after day. There is a good reason why a lot of relationships start off as an office romance – the more you spend time with them, the more you get familiar. You get to discover their likes and dislikes, you’re more likely to have a heart to heart conversations, you’re more likely to build friendships – and that’s what likely attracts you to one another. 

The risks of an office romance

Before you jump headfirst into an office romance, know the risks involved. There is a reason why office romances are frowned upon. Your professionalism might be called into question. Your colleagues might think you are giving your significant other preferential treatment. Your relationship might affect your productivity. Or worse, in the off chance that your office romance does not work out, you might affect the dynamics of your team. 

What to do

  • For sure this isn’t you but it’s worth mentioning: don’t try to seek relationships to serve your own agenda. People will see through that. 
  • Review your company’s policies regarding office relationships. Some companies don’t only prohibit dating coworkers but vendors, suppliers, and sometimes customers as well.
  • Do not date your boss or a direct report. It’s always a good idea to not date someone in your hierarchy whether it is a higher-up or a subordinate. Your motivations or your professionalism and ability to remain unbiased might be called into question. 
  • If you are in an office relationship, be open. Some relationships require specific disclosures. Some companies reassign their employees to another team or another boss. Don’t erode your employer’s trust by keeping your relationship a secret. Let them make informed decisions. 
  • Do not show public displays of affection. It makes some people uncomfortable. Do not be that person. Be considerate.

What do you think about office romances? How should it be handled? Let us know in the comments. Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today.

Feb3

Are You Losing Steam with Your New Year’s Resolutions?

Posted on by
Are You Losing Steam with Your New Year’s Resolutions?

At the beginning of the new year, you probably had a long list of lofty goals. Let’s not call it new year’s resolutions. Let’s call them running goals. They are probably pretty well thought of, SMART (specific, achievable, relevant, time-bound) goals that you are sure can be easily realized this year. These goals are probably listed somewhere because you’re hell-bent on being organized. You might have already started working on them and have even made progress.

But then the rest of the year start to roll in. Before you know it, it’s February and a month has already gone by. You feel like you’re losing steam and that you’re slowly losing the motivation to follow through with your goals. You might not be as committed to them, unlike your rock-solid resolve during the start of the year.

You are not alone in this though. Studies show that a lot of people (around 80%) fail at their new year’s resolution by the first week of February. So, if you don’t want to be part of this statistics, here’s a tip to keep your motivation.

Check your mindset
Stop focusing on the end goal and focus on your mindset. This will keep you going. When it comes to staying motivated and seeing your goals through, having a growth mindset can make a huge difference. Having a growth mindset means that you believe you are capable of growth and of change. It means that you know you can adapt and improve.

In contrast, having a fixed mindset will lead you to believe that your behaviors and beliefs are fixed and innate. This could trick you into thinking that the person you are today is who you are going to be forever. That belief doesn’t allow for self-improvement and can wreck your motivation when it comes to achieving your personal goals.

Let’s say one of your 2020 goals is to spend less time on social media, probably just spend 2 hours per week. Then one day, you catch yourself scrolling through your social media feeds during a slow day at work. With a fixed mindset, you realize you have reached the cap you have set for yourself, feel defeated, and strike that the goal of limiting social media time off of your goals list. With a growth mindset, you accept the fact that your processes need some tweaking, forgive yourself for this slip-up, and vow to build a better system to help you achieve your goals. Perhaps you could stash your phone somewhere you can’t easily reach it (a locked desk drawer or a locker). Perhaps you could install a mobile phone app that could block off social media sites while you’re at work.

However, you approach it, if you have a growth mindset, you will focus on forgiveness and will be celebrating your small wins instead of beating yourself up over a slight hiccup.

What’s your secret to sticking to your resolutions? Share your tips with us in the comments. Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today.

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp

Jan27

3 Tips for Successful Conflict Resolution at the Office

Posted on by
3 Tips for Successful Conflict Resolution at the Office

The office is where you spend ⅓ of at least half of your waking hours. At some point in time, it is inevitable to experience some kind of conflict in the workplace. Whether you, yourself are involved in the conflict or not, conflict can impact employee productivity. In fact, unresolved conflicts have a direct impact on how employees engage in the workplace and can definitely have a negative impact on workplace culture. Therefore, it is important for employees to learn the subtle art of conflict resolution.

Here are 3 tips to learn in order to navigate conflicts successfully:

Learn to communicate effectively
There’s talking and then there’s communicating. Most conflicts would be easily nipped in the bud if people just learn how to communicate effectively. This is not just about getting your point across but about actually listening to what the other person is saying. It’s not just about what you hear either. Effective communication means picking up on non-verbal clues, knowing which parts to not interrupt or having non-confrontational stances and gestures. Conflict isn’t always a bad thing. It can be an avenue to engage and exchange ideas if you manage it well.

Practice your problem-solving skills
This isn’t about being good at solving puzzles. It’s actually pretty straight forward. This skill is about learning how to see a challenge from many angles and approaching it with a clear plan while considering the many possible solutions to it. When people see conflict, they tend to avoid, deny, or pass it on to someone else. However, effective conflict resolution depends on how the people involved approach the conflict. Do they result in passive-aggressive behavior? Do they get into a shouting match? Do they avoid each other until resentment festers? The key is for both parties to see it as a challenge and exhaust all ways to solve it, even if it means getting input from an outsider with a different perspective.

Make teamwork a priority
Studies show that workplaces with a strong, deeply ingrained teamwork culture have fewer conflicts. This is because employees learn to focus on shared goals instead of disagreements that creep up in between. They ultimately have the end in mind. Teamwork also enforces defined roles which can majorly reduce where conflicts stem from. Lastly, teamwork reinforced meeting objectives over personal egos and preferences.

Bonus tip:
Stress management is one of the keys to healthy workplace relations.
Sometimes, it’s not about the work, the culture, or the coworkers. Sometimes people just happen to take their personal frustrations to the workplace and then blow up and vent there. Learning healthy stress coping mechanisms will reduce employee conflicts because they need not take their personal challenges to the office. So encourage employees to take well-timed breaks and vacation leaves. That way, they have decompression mechanisms in place to release bottled up emotions.

What about you, what are your tips for resolving conflict? Share your tips with us in the comments. Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today.

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp

Jan20

Don’t Schedule Meetings on Mondays

Posted on by
Don’t Schedule Meetings on Mondays

How many times have you said after attending a long drawn out, very boring meeting, “well, that could’ve just been an email!” Many people check out of meetings and start scrolling through their social media feed after while. It could be for a host of reasons: they shouldn’t have been included in the attendee’s list, the presider was ill-prepared, the meeting is too long, too boring, or not relevant to the attendee, etc.

But have you stopped to wonder if maybe you set the meeting during the wrong time of the week? You may be asking, “Is that even a thing?” Apparently, yes! Researchers[1] suggest that the worst time to schedule a meeting is during Monday mornings.

Right now, I can imagine that most of you are going…nooooo! Many businesses, especially those that involve teams, start the week with a Monday morning meeting. And with good intentions, since most of these meetings act as a sort of a huddle – a way to make sure that everyone is on the same page and to make sure jobs are assigned and projects are evaluated for progress.

Why not Mondays?

Mondays are statistically believed to be the most productive day of the week for employees. Many employees hunker down and get to work right away, so it is imperative that their concentration is not disrupted by having to attend meetings. Also, statistically, most employees choose Mondays or Fridays to call in sick or even file for leave to get a long weekend. So Monday morning meetings are probably prone to a lot of no-shows.

If not Mondays, when?

Science shows that the best day to hold meetings is Tuesday at 2:30pm. This data was derived from more than 2 million responses to 530,000 meeting invitations. The reason: it’s not too early in the morning and also not too late in the week. You can still steer the direction of projects and get updates early enough in the workweek and it’s not too early in the day to cut through the productive hours of employees.

Optimal meetings

No matter how well you schedule your meetings, if it’s boring or not very well prepared, people are going to zonk out. Here re a few tips to keep it engaging:

  • Keep it short – keep it within 45 mins, that’s the sweet spot. Half an hour is too short and should just be an email. An hour or more is just too long and will likely feel like a drag to attendees.
  • Distribute materials in advance – if you have materials for review or comments, please send them out in advance. Don’t assume that people will be able to give relevant input while you go through your presentation slides that they’re seeing for the first time.
  • Open with a purpose, close with action – set expectations at the beginning. What do you need to address? What needs to be accomplished? Answer that throughout the meeting and then close with a plan of action.

Do you like attending meetings? What are your meeting survival tips?  Share your tips with us in the comments. Remember to work smart and be a blessing to someone today.

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp

[1] https://www.payscale.com/career-news/2016/07/science-says-best-day-time-meeting

Dec16

How to Change your life in 2020

Posted on by
How to Change your life in 2020

The year is coming to an end, and if you haven’t realized it yet, so is the decade. Before you rush into a state of mild panic, know that you will be ok. We all work on a personal schedule so don’t feel the need to rush into a thousand personal projects in the name of collecting accomplishments under your belt.

Still, we all feel the need to change something in our lives that we feel we can improve on. Rightly so, there’s always room for improvement. Take stock of your life and seek the areas where you feel you need to improve. Here are some things you can do to switch things up and make life more enjoyable in the coming 2020.

Establish a self-care routine, if you haven’t yet.
The most reliable person you can count on to save you from a terrible day, a difficult interaction or a lonely weekend is yourself. So, work on you! Know what makes you happy. Make a list of things that will instantly make you happy. It could be a good cup of coffee, freshly baked cookies, clean sheets, scented candles, pets, plants, music, etc. These are quick wins but these instant perk-me-ups will help you immediately get out of a slump when you need it. Some self-care routines take more work and effort, like going to therapy, reconnecting with friends, or visiting family. Whatever you do, the underlying mission is to be kind to yourself. It’s much easier to be happier and kind to everyone else if you practice with yourself first.

Read, Try, Listen
Aside from self-care, nothing is more life-changing than learning something new.

Expand your mind. Read. Even though you think you know everything there is to know about a topic, you might surprise yourself. There could be new updates and discoveries that you have not yet read about.

Get out of your comfort zone. Try. Try a new food. Go visit new places. Try new exercises. Try new leisure activities.

Not a fan of reading? Listen. There are many podcast platforms that you can use. Subscribe to things you fancy. Anything. My podcast list range from “TEDTalks” to “The Economist” to CreepyPastas to NBA commentary shows. There’s a wealth of information to be gleaned from the podcast without the commitment of having to stay still. You can listen to them on the go, on your commute to work, while doing the laundry or any other passive chore.

Practice gratitude
While the first two tips need a bit of time to work their magic to bring life-changing results, gratitude will instantly change your life. The results are almost immediate. Upon waking up, think of three things you are grateful for. Do the same thing before you retire for the night. You will notice that you will start to feel more appreciative of life and more blessings start to pop up. Keep doing this until it becomes a habit.

What are your tips to improve your life in 2020? Share them with us in the comments. Stay humble and hustle hard.

Written by Jaie O. TheHelp