There is one universal rule: Do unto others as you would have done to you. This one golden rule has variations in almost all cultures all around the world and may have more emotional health implications than we think.

Ever wonder why you get that inner glow after helping out someone else? Don’t you secretly feel proud of yourself after helping out at a shelter or soup kitchen? Or after donating to charity? Aren’t you inspired to give more or do more charity work just minutes after volunteering?

That feeling is also a universal feeling. Volunteers all around the world have known this truth for a very long time. In their hands, they hold the secret to happiness in the form of giving.

Maybe it has something to do with feeling empowered. As Barack Obama put it so eloquently “The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” And it is true isn’t it? Helping others makes you feel that you are able to make a difference no matter how small you perceive it to be.

This bit of essential information is backed by hard science too. Giving to charity actually triggers the brain’s mesolimbic system. That’s where we get feelings of reward – it’s actually what psychologists call a “helper’s high.”

Not only do you get a “mesolimbic boost”, you also get a self esteem boost and an optimism boost. Not to mention, doing acts of charity and kindness lowers your stress levels and will make you appreciate what you have more. So you get an extra gratefulness boost and lower stress levels to boot. Few activities have all those perks altogether and they’re enough to give you a big happiness boost.

Want to give your heart a happiness boost? Here’s a list of organizations that can help you get started on your volunteering journey, from where you are and no matter what your level of experience is:.

Big Brothers and Big Sisters: They’ve been around for more than 100 years and has been “the nation’s largest donor and volunteer supported mentoring network. Big Brothers Big Sisters makes meaningful, monitored matches between adult volunteers (“Bigs”) and children (“Littles”), ages 6 through 18, in communities across the country. We develop positive relationships that have a direct and lasting effect on the lives of young people. “

Change Net is powered by Heart’s and Minds Volunteer Organization and is also home to the End Poverty Campaign. They have programs that let you volunteer from anywhere.

Feed the Children Feed the Children exists to end childhood hunger. It’s the cause upon which we were founded 35 years ago and the one that we continue to fight for each and every day. Their hotline is 1-866-614-4991, is staffed 24 hours a day, and is managed by an independent firm.

Habitat for humanity is “a nonprofit, ecumenical Christian ministry that builds with people in need regardless of race or religion, we welcome volunteers and supporters from all backgrounds.  

They have more than 1,400 local affiliates in the United States and more than 70 national organizations around the world. They have helped 6.8 million people improve their living conditions since their founding in 1976.

Red Cross: The Red Cross offers a lot of volunteering options from anywhere in the world, from being a community volunteer, an advocate, a blood drive volunteer etc. Information on more ways to help are available on their website.

United Nations Volunteer Like the Red Cross UN Volunteers also offer a few ways to volunteer your time or resources. “The United Nations Volunteers (UNV) programme is the UN organization that promotes volunteerism to support peace and development worldwide. Volunteerism can transform the pace and nature of development, and it benefits both society at large and the individual volunteer. UNV contributes to peace and development by advocating for volunteerism globally, encouraging partners to integrate volunteerism into development programming, and mobilizing volunteers.”

WWF: The WWF has been protecting the future of nature for 50 years. It is “the world’s leading conservation organization, WWF works in 100 countries and is supported by 1.2 million members in the United States and close to 5 million globally. WWF’s unique way of working combines global reach with a foundation in science, involves action at every level from local to global, and ensures the delivery of innovative solutions that meet the needs of both people and nature.”

 

Written by Jaie O. – The Help

I like this word, accountability. In my head, I imagine a ledger filled with a list of responsibilities off to one side and a list of things done off to the other. It’s a very literal representation, like real accounting ledgers. But that’s how I imagine accountability and being accountable. It means you are expected to justify your actions or decisions.

What we do in life impacts others as well. Some of our actions may have consequences that affect other people, and may have a big impact on their lives. There is no greater example than our responsibilities in a work environment. In a work environment, people are cogs in a big wheel, and their actions affect the organization as a whole.

Bosses, supervisors, managers, and most about anyone who can help you advance your career give their trust to those employees who they deem reliable. Parents, mentors, friends, and most about anyone who we love, give their trust to people they can rely on. See a trend here? the person who is most responsible is most admired. Makes sense right? We want to be around people we trust.

How does one get to be this responsible person whom everyone admires?

Take care of your own thing – and be consistent!

No one wants to be constantly micromanaged, in the same way that nobody wants to be looking over your shoulder to see if you’ve done the job they’ve given you correctly or at least satisfactorily. So take care of your own thing! Don’t let anyone else remind you of your tasks, or manage your actions, or steer the direction of your life.

Be answerable for your own actions.

When a responsibility is given to you, really own it! Own it from conception down to the execution. Be accountable for your own actions. When things go wrong, the first and foremost sign of maturity and responsibility is to accept the blame. Accept that things could have been better and that there could be a lot of room for improvement. Never ever blame someone else for something that YOU should be doing. As a rule, being a responsible person entails not blaming, complaining or giving excuses. Complaining is just another way of saying that you can’t handle the situation with the resources you’re given and the cards you’re dealt with. Giving excuses is just as worse as blaming and complaining. It means you’re not really ready to take the responsibility.

When you promise or agree to something, DO IT!

My good friend lives and dies by a very good creed. He’s one of those guys who just goes and does what he says. Even if it takes him a some time to do as promised. He says it builds character and fortitude, and that no matter how hard or how long, he always tries to do what he promised. It’s a pretty simple rule, really – to do what you said you would. But most of us have a really hard time. It’s about time we put in some real effort to do as we say.

Be reliable.

Remember the feeling of being trusted with the scissors for the first time when you were a little boy or girl? That felt good right? It is a good feeling to be trusted with something no matter what your age is. Also remember to take care of things you borrow, never put off returning them, lest you forget to return them or God forbid, misplace the thing you borrowed. Other people’s property are valuable to them, that’s why they have them in the first place. So for you to borrow something they own, they trust you enough to know that they will eventually get it back.

Use good judgement.

Murphy’s Law states that if something can go wrong, it will. So, it is up to us to use our good judgement and realize that there are things that we cannot control. You cannot take responsibility for the company going bankrupt, or for a friend who always has no money because of bad choices and unhealthy shopping habits. You can focus on doing a good job on an assigned project and you can focus on earning money to cover your share of the rent. You SHOULD focus on things that you can do something about, that are within your responsibilities, and do not stress over things you cannot control.

We live in a world shared with other people. That  means we are responsible not only for ourselves but for others as well. Being aware of this is a trait reserved exclusively for those who are mature enough to understand that our choices might affect someone else. So always be responsible. Also, remember to: Stay Humble, Hustle Hard. Good luck!

 

 

Written by Jaie O. – The Help

At this day and age, everyone is hard wired to multi-task. Everyday begins with multitasking. You put on the coffee pot while you take a shower, listen to the news while you brush your teeth, put on lipstick as you’re driving to work. At work you type on your computer, trying to finish that report as you talk to someone on the phone, or maybe you pay the bills while eating lunch. We’re also surrounded with a lot of enablers, gadgets that can do three things at a time and smart phones that have everything except the kitchen sink.

This makes us feel that we accomplish more in as little time possible. And most of the time – that works. It makes us feel good to do so many things all at once. But why do so many of us feel that there’s just never enough time to do the things we want to do. Everyone is still so busy even with all the help technology has to offer. Have we sacrificed efficiency for quantity? Are we really more efficient by getting so many things done and checked off our lists of things to do?

The problem is not efficiency. The problem is focus. Busy folks tend to juggle a lot of things at the same time and tend to lose focus on actually doing a particular job well. When we find ourselves having some free time, we tend to fill that time in with more work, or more responsibilities, or more social engagements.

We’ve become so accustomed to working, we tend to fill our down time with just about anything else, regardless if it’s healthy for us or not. Mindfulness has gone out of the window and we’ve all become busy for the sake of being busy.

Why not slow down a bit. Take a breather. Clear your mind. Let go of the things that are worrying you. Think of nothing but light and let your mind be a blank canvass. Breathe deeply and really fill your lungs with air. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale again and hold it in for longer this time. Now exhale and really let it out. See, didn’t that feel good?

You, my friend, have just begun meditating. That felt awesome, right? Do you want to go on?

1. Start by carving time out of your busy schedule to do this exercise. Just a few minutes everyday will do. if you can hack 10 minutes of peace and quiet, you’re all set. It’s probably best if you do this first thing in the morning. That way, you can start the day calm and relaxed. Do it often enough and soon it becomes a habit that you don’t even have to think about.
2. Pick a peaceful spot to sit comfortably in. It can be anywhere, a park bench, a garden, your room, your bed – anywhere where you’re relaxed. This spot has to be really quiet, otherwise, learn how to drown out the noise.
3. Pay attention to your breathing. Most yogi and yoginis recommend counting your breath. The trick is to be aware of your breathing.
4. Stay focused. Do not allow stray thoughts or daily worries to enter our mind. Lock them out as soon as you have them. This is the hardest part of meditation. But if you can keep your thoughts in check and focus only on your breathing, you’ll get the hang of it.
5. End by being grateful. If you’re reading this because you need tips on how not to feel so overwhelmed, then being grateful for the 10 minutes of peace and quiet is a very good place to start.

Hopefully, this is the beginning of a meditation habit for you. The true mark of efficiency is focusing and doing one job well. And it helps when you start or end the day with a clear head and a full heart. Always remember to: Stay Humble, Hustle Hard. Good luck!

 

Written by Jaie O. – The Help

There are times in our lives when we just get too overwhelmed with everyday routine. If you’re like me, a typical day consists of sleeping, working, and taking care of family or spending time with friends. Sometimes we need to take a break from the monotony and start carving out me time.

ME Time is any time you spend relaxing on your own, apart from doing things for others. Spending me time helps you recharge your batteries. If you’re prone to bouts of anxiety, me time also helps keep you relax and be less anxious.

We all have different versions of me time. For example, I know a person who loves vacuuming in the afternoon. He says it’s therapeutic to listen to the hum of the vacuum cleaner as the sun sets in the background – a very dramatic description for a mundane chore, don’t you think? Nonetheless, I can see its allure. Most busy moms would tell you that time alone folding clothes would be one of the most relaxing quiet times they have. They consider it therapeutic to sit inside a quiet room and watch as piles of freshly laundered clothes get sorted into neatly folded piles probably because it’s the only time they can carve some peace and quiet out of their very busy days.

The best kind of me time is when you’re spending it on a hobby. Having a hobby does wonders for your mental, physical, and emotional health. Hobbies let you take a mental break from all the responsibilities you have. What could be better than taking a break doing whatever you like? After all, we never pick up hobbies we aren’t the slightest bit interested in, right?

If it has been a long time since you’ve picked up a hobby, maybe it is time to rekindle that old love. Need, a guide on where to start? Read on.

Start with things that interest you.

Are you a big fan of plants? Why not try gardening. Gardening is a very relaxing hobby and is not only designated for senior citizens with green thumbs. Start small, with a small patch of land by the front lawn. Living in an apartment building? Why not try growing herbs near the window? Or maybe start a succulents garden or a terrarium. Terrariums are great for when you don’t have a green thumb. Terrarium arrangement could be a cool creative project too.

Got a wish list?

Maybe you’re a frustrated musician but don’t really know how to play an instrument. You could start learning to play the guitar. If that’s overwhelming, why not start with a ukulele. They’re the in thing nowadays. They’re portable, fun, and easy to play.

Old interests.

If you’re no longer a beginner, why not pick up something you’re already good at. I love to doodle. One day I saw some grown up coloring books at a bookstore and picked one up hoping to start a coloring hobby. So, I bought the book and a few art supplies (colored pens and pencils) and went on my merry way. The book had beautiful detailed pictures of gardens and flowers and mandalas. When I saw the mandalas, I thought to myself “Hey, I could do this. I could draw mandalas myself.” I went back to the bookstore to buy more supplies, this time a thick sketch pad and a few drawing pens. That started another hobby which I’m still actively practicing today. To this date I have three sketch pads filled with doodles and mandala drawings. I’ve left them uncolored though.

Starting a hobby lets you have an outlet for everyday stress and promotes a sense of well being. It reduces blood pressure and help you get into a state of flow. The many benefits of picking up a hobby surely outweighs the dread of having to decide what hobby to engage in. So start picking up an enjoyable hobby today and remember  to: Stay Humble, Hustle Hard. Good luck!

 

Written by Jaie O. – The Help

Okay listen up everyone, we are all guilty of dissatisfaction. All of us, at one point in time, are guilty of letting go of something that is perfectly working while chasing after something we perceive to be relatively unattainable. We justify this by telling ourselves that we would be happier with bigger, with brighter, with more. And then we find out that, truth is, that’s never the case.

Come on, you know what I’m talking about – stable relationships, budding careers, or that perfectly working smart phone. Unfortunately, it is part of human nature to want more. And what is so wrong with that?

Nothing. Nothing is wrong with that. We’re always going to want more. That is how we evolve. However, here’s what turns it all upside down. Having unrealistic and unusually high expectations. When we let our unrealistic expectations rule our lives, we set ourselves up for failure. We end up dissatisfied and dissatisfaction is like a poison where the afflicted gets constantly and irrationally attracted to things they do not have – and sometimes never can have.

Higher Exploration vs Higher Expectation

It is perfectly healthy to set higher expectations for ourselves. In fact, we all should.  But instead of expectations, we should set higher standards for ourselves, a set of principles, or codes, or goals that make us fundamentally better people – not just superficially superior. Maybe instead of higher expectations, we should set higher explorations. That sounds more like it’s geared towards growth right? Because that’s what we’re aiming for – growth! Explorations mean we set our own pace and not sit by the sidelines following a meticulously concocted checklist of “things to do by this age and that degree.” It means we get to try things out and find out what works for us and what needs to be sent back to the old drawing board.

Less Judgement, More Forgiveness

Expectations are important because it teaches us to adjust. Weather we set them high or low, having them teaches us to be flexible. Not getting our expectations realized teaches us some of the best lessons we ever get in life. Failures and disappointments (unfortunately) are the best teachers, they teach us to forgive ourselves more and judge ourselves less. We learn to try again and we learn to hope. We adjust our sails and aim for better things. We forgive and move on from disappointment. We make better judgment calls because of the experience. We learn to recalibrate and learn to do better. And learning to do better and be better is the whole point of setting expectations.

Respect and Ruthlessness

It is a fine line between having lofty goals and unrealistically high expectations – the solemn place where you owe it to yourself to get what you deserve and that destructive path of self-entitlement where you think you should always get what you think you deserve. But there is a sweet spot, the middle of the line, a balance between light and dark. It is the border between self-respect and ruthlessness, the solemn place with just enough hubris and humility to know that this is exactly what you deserve.

Give yourself a little breathing room, but set your hopes high enough to see yourself soar. Like a kite in the wind, we need to cut ourselves some slack in order to take flight. If you find out how to balance your expectations, please do share your secret.  We are all trying to find the sweet spot. In the meantime, do what works for you. Remember to: Stay Humble, Hustle Hard. Good luck!

 

Written by Jaie O. – The Help