Over time, we’ve lost the art of making small talk. Maybe it’s because of the growing belief that we no longer need it. As many people would say “cut the small talk and get straight to the heart of the matter”. Maybe instant messaging has created a movement that replaced this art with funny emojis and colorful stickers. Maybe most of us just don’t know what to say.
Whatever the reason is, let’s admit that we’re slowly losing the art of making small talk. What we really are losing is an opportunity. We’re losing the opportunity to connect with other human beings, the opportunity to learn new things, the opportunity to make new friends, the opportunity to network.
Face it, you can’t start a conversation with a complete stranger by talking about partisan politics and climate change deniers. That will ruffle a few feathers even before you start making friends. Conversations are best started on neutral grounds. Then you let the conversation flow and see where it takes you.
Starting conversations is easier if you know the person because you already know which questions to ask. However, how do you start meaningful conversations with people you barely know? What do you say? How do you ask better questions? Try these conversation starters.
Ask for recommendations:
“What are you watching on Netflix (or insert other movie streaming service here) right now?”
This is an opportunity to learn about things that other people find interesting. You can ask them for recommendations and ask why they’re watching what they’re watching. They get to regale you with their good taste and expertise on the show and you get some suggestions to add to your watch list.
“What are you listening to on Spotify (or insert other music streaming service here) right now?”
Alternatively, you can alter and use the previous question for getting recommendations for reading and listening lists. My personal favorite is to ask what they’re listening to on Spotify right now and if they have any interesting playlists or podcasts they can share.
“You’re from (insert neighborhood), right? Any good places to eat when I’m in the area?”
You can get some cool recommendations of places to eat or hang out for dinner and drinks. To make it interesting, you can ask which hole-in-the-wall joints have surprised them or which coffee shops are the best to work from. Alternatively, you can ask what activities are a must-do when you visit that neighborhood.
Ask for advice:
This may need a lead-in question. First, you should know what the person’s interests are and go from there. If they’re interested in plants, you can ask “what plants should I get for a home office?” If they’re into petcare you can ask “where do you buy your pet supplies?” If they like online shopping ask them where the best deals are. Again these questions are a chance for the other person to act as the expert and an opportunity for you to learn.
The point is for you to exercise your listening skills and create opportunities to learn while giving the other person a chance to be heard. How about you? How do you start conversations with people you don’t know? How do you make small talk? Share your tips with us in the comments. Stay humble and hustle hard.
Written by Jaie O. TheHelp