The Social Anxiety Institute defines social anxiety as the fear of interaction with other people that brings on self-consciousness, feelings of being negatively judged and evaluated, and, as a result, leads to avoidance. While it is a very serious illness that stems from a variety of reasons, most of us have had a bout or two with social anxiety in small doses.

Even the best of us get episodes where we just clam up and get all nervous and sweaty when interacting with people. A little anxiety is healthy. It gets our adrenaline flowing and keeps us alert What isn’t healthy is when social anxiety interferes with important tasks like work.

Do your just smile and then skulk around when people gather around the coffee maker in the break room? Are you one of those people who shy away from speaking up at meetings? Are you scared to share your ideas for fear of being judged?

That’s not even the worst of it. You know it gets really bad when you feel like you just don’t have anything to offer, so you avoid sharing your thoughts altogether. This comes back to bite you when you get asked your opinion on a big company decision by your boss and you clam up or worse, say something ludicrous.

Don’t let that happen to you. If you  have serious Social Anxiety you should see a doctor. For the rest of us who have mild communication challenges, take steps to boost your confidence and hone your communication skills.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. Everybody makes mistakes, no one’s perfect. Learn to laugh at yourself and lighten up. It won’t  be the end of the world if your favorite color is red and the rest of the office loves blue. It’s not a problem if you like cupcakes while everyone else likes doughnuts. It’s not a big deal to tell your boss that she needs to  extend the timeline on a project instead of cramming all the activities in a short timespan. Any  leader worth his/her salt will  take your suggestion into consideration in good faith, so lighten up!

Communication isn’t just about the spoken word but all about body language too. Avoid hunching your shoulders and crossing your arms. Straighten up your spine and roll your shoulders back. Hold that posture. Don’t you feel more confident already?

Avoid fillers. Don’t fill the gaps in your conversation with “um”, “like”, or “aaaand.” That just makes you sound like you’re either a teenage brat or that you’re not sure about what you’re saying. You can keep it short and straight to the point and no one will complain.

Don’t be a pushover. Have an opinion of your own. Don’t just agree because it’s the popular decision. Be assertive but not aggressive. Assertiveness says that you’re self assured, confident, and that you know what you want. Aggressiveness says you’re contentious and will fight for the sake of argument. Try  this  exercise with a trusted friend: argue an unpopular point like “why drinking soda can be good for you.” It doesn’t matter that it isn’t true, the  point of the exercise is to make you comfortable with decision making and arguing the merits of a point.

Be a good listener. Let’s face it, we sometimes drift through conversations or oast along because we feel we can’t contribute. The point is to listen. What you gather from there will be the whole arsenal of what you can use to build your confidence  and communication skills. It’ll give you the ideas for topics to  sustain the conversation, give you the pointers needed to form an opinion, it’ll give you the leverage to get the other person to pay attention to you. Practice being a good listener.

Overcoming this challenge takes some practice but putting in the work beats getting caught with nothing to say.

Written by Jaie O.- The Help

Reference: https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/what-is-social-anxiety

We all  have difficult co-workers. You know, those people who make work a miserable experience for everyone. Without them you actually look forward to work and think it’s awesome. If you don’t know who it is, it might be you...seriously.

Here are 4 personality types and what makes working with them difficult:

What to do when your coworker is Difficult Dan:  

Dan is a diva. He is contentious and thrives on drama and conflict. He tries to incite it at any opportunity he gets. He sees this defiance as being ‘constructive’ and his way of educating people about how wrong things around the office are.

During a meeting, he proceeds to tear the presentation apart point by point with no concrete  solutions to offer. The usual 15 minute meeting has now been running for an hour and it doesn’t seem to be ending soon. When dealing with Dan, you have to be assertive and a little bit sneaky. Divas have inflated egos and feel that he’s doing everyone a favor. Throw in some flattery and see if this softens them up. Remember that you cannot win Dan over but try to see it from his perspective and maybe work with the similarities you discover.

For example, if you see his point about a longer timeline, then tell him so. But work it into a flattering statement so that he sees that you have contemplated his point but that you can drop the discussion on that. Say something like “I see your point about extending the timeline, Dan. We could all benefit from more planning but we can’t afford the delays. We’ll revisit that when you have a more concrete suggestion.” Be firm in saying that you are good to reopen the discussion when he is more amenable.

What to do when your coworker is a Negative Nancy:

Nancy catches you by the break room. You know it wouldn’t  be polite to not say “hi!” So you say a tentative”hi!” She takes that as an invitation to tell you about her lousy day. She begins by telling you how she slept through her alarm, then proceeds to telling you about the horrible traffic, and how the  barista messed up her coffee and bagel order again. You sigh inside, you just wanted to take a well deserved coffee break but now, you can’t wait for it to be over.

You just have to bite the bullet with Nancy. Tell her that you’re sorry she’s having such a bad day but that you would really have to get back to work just about now. Try to call her out on being negative but say something sensitive like “I’m sorry you’re having such a bad day but it’s not over yet. Maybe things are starting to look up, give it a few  minutes.” Sometimes, all they need is a gentle reminder that life isn’t all fire and brimstone and things can come up roses.

What to do when your coworker is Angry Andy:

You notice Andy slapping and banging at the photocopier, sometimes he’s kicking the trash bin, most times he’s heard verbally abusing his screen monitor. People avoid him. He’s a ticking timebomb and no one wants to be there when his temper tantrums take a turn for the worse and he finally explodes.

Then one day your deepest fear happens. You get paired with Andy for a big work project and would have to work closely with him. You are now bracing yourself for him to suddenly turn green and angry. What do you do? You can’t just go around and walk on eggshells and agree with everything this guy says, right? You are bound to have an instance where you two will not see eye to eye on a topic and you need to have a mature discussion about it.

People like Andy are addicted to anger and might have other personal issues that they can’t manage so they take it out at work. Your best bet is to be calm but firm. Any show of anger from you would reinforce his beliefs that anger is the best way to resolve issues. When he starts to get passionate about the discussion, calmly ask him to NOT raise his voice because shouting is absolutely unnecessary. Tell him to hold that thought and that you will continue the discussion when he is calmer.

What to do when your coworker is Loud Lara:

Lara is the life of the party, but sometimes she’s too much. Ok…a lot of times, she’s too much. Everyone knows when Lara is in for work. Her voice carries over 2 departments away. Her energy is contagious but sometimes, she’s more distracting than helpful. You just have days when you want  to hunker down and work through a tight deadline in peace. Lara and her loud antics are an extra challenge.

The good thing about this is that, among the 4 types of challenging co-workers, Lara is approachable,friendly, and well meaning. Don’t be afraid to let Lara know that you are working through a deadline and that if she can take  it down a notch, you’d really appreciate it. Suggest that they can maybe take it somewhere else and that you really need to get this report done. Never ever join her though for a gossip session. When she starts gossiping, cut her short and say you really don’t want to talk about other people’s private lives. Offer no excuse and just walk away.

Written by Jaie T.-  The Help

This post is late, I know. It’s just one of those weeks when you’re swamped with work and you know there’s no way but to power through it. But then you surprise yourself and do the exact opposite. You don’t start working. You make excuses to NOT start working. You procrastinate.

A thousand and one tasks are staring you right in the face and all of them need your immediate attention. You get so overwhelmed that you think to yourself…’maybe I’ll just have a snack’…’maybe I’ll take a nap’…’I just need to clean up a little and sort my sock drawer, then I can start working’…’I work better when there’s cake, maybe I’ll bake myself a cake.” I know the things we tell ourselves when we procrastinate are borderline ridiculous, but the outcome is the same: we don’t start doing what we’re supposed to be doing right now.

Sooner or later, work will pile up and you’re going to have to face the music. It’ll take double the effort to work on what you should have finished in the first place had you started working when you’re supposed to.

Your best bet is to stop the problem at the source. Stop procrastinating when the urge hits. Here are 5 ways to stop procrastinating. Put those socks down and read it, then apply.

Make a list

I am a chronic list maker. I make lists about everything. Including the books I plan to read and the shows I want to watch. This tip works well for me during the times i get so overwhelmed with work. Writing things down and making a list wrangles your thoughts and prevents them from buzzing around aimlessly inside your head. Lists are great! Lists turn worries into action items.

Now start making that list of things to do. Don’t just write down the task you know you’re going to finish but also those tasks you have been avoiding.

Check it twice

After you’re done with your list, look at it again. Break your tasks down into smaller and more manageable pieces. The goal is to have a sense of accomplishment – something you can’t have if you begin your list with “Finish the Marketing Presentation.” If you break down the tasks, say for example, “draft the pitch”, “get the data”, “prepare the infographics” – every task you complete is a win and you’ll be more likely to get motivated to finish the task.

Remove temptation

Put down your phone right now. Stop surfing the internet and looking at cat videos. Install applications that either block games and websites or help you focus on your task. Have a snack ready so that you don’t feel the sudden urge to bake when you’ve got a deadline looming. Avoid your ipad filled with games at all cost.

Stay away from timesuckers

Timesuckers can be in things, or worse, people. Have you ever gone to the water cooler to get a drink or the break room to grab some coffee and then suddenly find yourself engrossed in a deep, climate changing, hour long conversation about who your newly engaged coworker has or hasn’t invited invited to the wedding. Isn’t it the worst?

Don’t take on more than you can chew

Some people can’t say no. Don’t be this person. Whether their reason is to be nice, to be helpful,  to be proactive, to prove that they’re the most hardworking person ever, to show someone up, to impress others, etc. Whatever the reason may be, it sucks to find that you have so much on your plate that you literally have no more time for yourself because you said yes to doing so many things. Learn to say NO and enjoy the peace and serenity that comes with having free time.

Ultimately, we have all fallen into that trap. Hopefully, we learn from our last mistake and grow enough willpower to be able to ride the tide of procrastination when it hits. Then it’ll be smooth sailing all the way!

Written by Jaie T.-  The Help

Keeping up with our peers is something that most of us do unconsciously. We are all guilty of comparing ourselves to

other people. Self sabotaging as it may seem, we want a bar to measure ourselves up against. We justify our behavior by saying, “How can I measure how far I have come and what I have accomplished if I don’t have a standard to measure my accomplishments against?”

When we compare ourselves to others, we end up being sad. For there will always be something that we lack, something missing in our lives, something we want that someone else has. From this way of thinking stems discontent, and the seed of discontent grows so easily.

It’s easy to fall into a trap of comparing ourselves to others. Society tells us to be our own unique person. That we should do our own thing and not worry about what the rest of them are doing. Society loves the rebels, those who do things their own way. But sometimes, we just want to take a peek at what other people are doing, what they have, and where they are in their lives. All the while, not knowing what they have done to get there.

While trying to “keep up with our peers” throws in a good measure of competition into the mix, it should not serve as the sole basis of why we work and do what we do. The motivation to keep up with our peers should come from the fact that we want to be able to bring something to the table, to contribute to society, to inspire in return , to change our destructive habits and exchange them for something good for us.

If we must keep up, we should try to surround ourselves with people who inspire. Inspirational people are those who have seen the bottom and have come out of adversity scarred but not broken. Those who have the strength of character to overcome. Those who are unfazed by failure because they have gotten to know it intimately.

We should try to surround ourselves with people who create. People who create something with their hands, their thoughts, their talents are people worth keeping up with. They are a constant source of newness in a world that believes that imitation is the best form of flattery.

We should try to surround ourselves with people who motivate. There can never be enough encouragement to go around and these people seem to have an unending supply. What they give isn’t just motivation, it is faith – the belief that things are possible with just the right attitude. They give others hope that they can perform and thrive.

If we must keep up with our peers these are the peers we must find. These are standards that everyone must try to achieve, standards that make us better people which isn’t such a bad thing to be. Once we make a decision to surround ourselves with people who have strong moral and emotional principles, we find ourselves being those whom we admire.

Written by Jaie O.- The Help

You want the short answer? Yes. The longer answer though is something that is different for every business. But generally, local marketing is something that must not be neglected. When you already have the power of the internet to reach every household that has an internet connection, I believe that it would be extremely limiting for businesses to just concentrate on global marketing when it is very very possible nowadays to do both. It is a new virtual world and the world has gotten a bit smaller because of technology. You may no longer be surprised to find that even some brick and mortar stores have jumped ship and have successfully penetrated the virtual marketplace selling physical products and manual services. Businesses today have an extensible farther reach and are able to capture a larger audience because of one thing that seems to be a requirement for all successful businesses nowadays – an online presence.

An online presence lets the world know that your business exists. The WORLD – mind you! Anywhere that the internet can reach is a potential audience to capture and get in your businesses line of sight. With just a few keystrokes anyone anywhere can find you when you put up your business online. The strongest following though are those who share some kind of kindred spirit with your business. It pays to have your audience feel that they know you personally. That they have a connection with you somewhat. That they have seen you before – that you look and sound familiar! This loyalty will come from your local market. Your local market will provide you with repeat business.

Entrepreneurs harness the power of the internet to make themselves known. With a couple of marketing tricks they make sure that everyone can find them in a couple of clicks. You would think, “why would a business settle for being known within the confines of a local market when they can be known in the virtual world? That would be extremely limiting.” It is not to say that you must do away with targeting your local market. In fact, you must strive to add this to your marketing plan. Do not forget to define what your local market is before embarking in this plan.

One very real concern of trying to manage a local and global marketing strategy is cost. It is a common misconception that businesses have to have separate tools for different marketing campaigns. This is something virtual businesses are really smart about. The internet has a large hub of available online tools and resources to make a parallel marketing campaign possible. Businesses just have to find the right one that addresses their needs.

Anything is literally possible now. When you have a reach as far as the other side of the world, it is easy to forget your own backyard. But you must never neglect your local market. It is your community, the place where everyone should know you. And more importantly, it is where you have homecourt advantage.

Written by Jaie T.-  The Help